HOW TO INFLUENCE ANYONE

PREFACE

This is my perspective on the book INFLUENCE by Robert Cialdini. This is more than just a summary. This is how I used its insights to compel people to like me, getting my first sales and networking as a beginner. This is a beginner’s guide to exploiting the levers of compliance without harming the target. That said, I also included how you can fight back if someone/something decides to prey on you.

INTRODUCTION

Have you ever thought about why people buy these expensive goods from luxury brands? like a $800 bag. And no, I am not talking about celebrities or affluent people. I am talking about middle-class and poor people who generally are so cheap and think twice before they buy an online course or get their car repaired. Out of the blue, they buy something expensive for occasions as gifts for themselves or their loved ones.

There are many things at play here including emotional judgements. But today, We will be talking about the judgemental heuristics that people use, especially to buy a product/service.

In the example above, we see that people deem something valuable because they are expensive. If you think an item is expensive because it’s valuable, you are a fool. An item is valuable because it’s expensive.

generally, People judge the value of an item based on one distinct feature, mostly the price. and as smart as we think we are, we often fall for simple sales tricks that sound dumb. This phenomenon is called “click and run”.

Most of us are busy with our life. And because we stop learning after graduation, our knowledge of many domains that may at some point in time become important to our lives is limited. And we don’t have the desire, or emotional and cognitive capacity to analyze things that we are buying. People are already drenched in their own cognitive stress related to work or their personal situations and they use shortcuts to make decisions.

“If an item is priced high, it must be valuable”

“if an argument states a quote from an expert, irrespective of the context, it must be true”

These shortcuts are also called judgemental heuristics and they make our life easy. They work well mostly because, in an ideal world, items are priced based on their value. but there are many exceptions when these shortcuts cost us big time.

And why am I telling you all this? Because you are a victim of judgemental heuristics. We all have been in the position of the example I used above.

“These slippers might be of great quality because they are priced higher”

“This phone must last for years because it’s so expensive”

We judge items based on their price. And yes, this is backed by psychological experiments. In a controlled environment, when one group of people were treated with a painkiller worth $2 It was rated highly. When the same painkiller was given to a different group of people but they were told that the price was only 50 cents, the ratings dropped.

And even if I tell you right now that the manufacturer of your local brand shoes and “Nike” is the same factory in China, You would still pay $500 for a pair of Nike sneakers. Because we believe, no matter how ridiculous it may sound, a higher price means higher quality.

and there’s one more trick that works even better. marking up the price and selling it for a discount. Most companies do this. A $200 item is priced at $500 and it is sold on a sale for $250 and people buy it thinking they won a bargain.

And if a great product like this, is genuinely sold for a discount because the seller (me) wants people to test the product, no one buys it.

“Maybe it’s not good because it’s $1”.

“Maybe it’s a half-baked product because it’s only $1”.

And this has been happening to me many times. When I go out of my way to help people with their questions in a 1:1 consultation call for free, no one joins.

When I request them to ask questions in AI so I can help, no one does it.

Surprisingly, people bargain when the price is marked low. When the price is marked exceptionally high, they assume that bargaining would be frowned upon. Oh, My dumb people.

In my experience as a freelancer, Clients paying $120 would complain about everything and ask to return their money. Clients who pay $1000, appreciate my work and say that I outlived their expectations.

Now, there are a few triggers for this “click→run” action of humans. When you use them against others, they are bound to comply with your request/command. These are called “LEVERS of COMPLIANCE”. let’s go over each one of them.

2. Lever-1: COMPARISION

Have you ever thought why these companies make insanely expensive products with all the features that no one cares about?

The answer is simple. The elite highest variations of these products will make the other expensive lower versions of products feel cheap.

Apple is launching its first VR headset insanely priced at $3500. Like is it dumb? If it is trying to get into the VR market, It should have started with a lower price first. and then gradually increase the price? right? Nope. you are wrong!

The first version of Vision Pro might not do great sales. and Apple knows that. but the later versions priced at $2000, and $2500 will do great sales. Though $2500 is a large amount for a headset, it’s $1000 cheaper than the Vision Pro. so it makes you feel that you are actually saving money buying it but in reality, you are getting robbed in daylight.

I don’t want to demonize Apple here. Every company in every industry does this. For every product you see online or offline, You have an insanely expensive one with a price tag that makes you shit bricks. and very few people buy that believing in the above “price is value” autonomy. but that makes the other products feel rather inexpensive.

And it’s the opposite when It comes to value. Have you ever seen these pricing cards for these SaaS websites? They always have a free or low version at the left with all the features mentioned on them.

When you compare the second or third tier to the previous tier's features, you increase their worth. and at the right end, you have a very expensive tier with tons of unnecessary features. These pricing techniques make you feel that the middle tiers are high in value and low in price and hence, are a good deal.

This doesn’t only apply to price. It works in every aspect of life. And that’s the reason many people hate Instagram. It makes your happy life feel sad.

• You may be earning $200k in Florida living like a king. but some other guy shares photos of his BMW and that makes you feel bad about your own life.

• You may have a beautiful girlfriend but the plastic models you see online make you question her beauty.

A few initiated people take advantage of this autonomy. They know that their decisions are bound to this autonomy so they change their environment accordingly:

• They hang out with more successful people. It will push them harder to achieve their level of success.

• They compare their earnings to people who earn. It makes them feel good about their job.

• When selling, They always start with a low-value product and end with a high price high-value product that they know no one wants. This makes the products in the middle tier packed with value at a lower price.

As Humans, we are bound to compare. we can’t stop it. But when you do have the choice, make a conscious decision to compare yourself to the people who are living your life. Talk to them. Become friends with them. When you are surrounded by people who make $100K a month, anything less than that feels inferior.

3. Lever-2: Rule of Reciprocation.

Do you regularly gift someone or some family? like for every birthday you send them a gift and they send one for you. and this keeps going on. this is called “gifting culture”. And if you remember correctly someone had to start it. It may be you or them. If it was them, you would have felt obliged to gift them because they gave one on your birthday.

And you do this with most of the people you know:

1. If someone invites you to their bday, you do the same.

2. if someone invites you to their wedding, you do the same.

Indians take it a step further. My parents take note of acquaintances who invite them to weddings and other parties. When there is some party at our house, We make sure they are invited. Even if we don’t know or even like them.

This is the power of reciprocity. also called “give and take”. And you should take advantage of it, especially when you are starting your business or career as you need to make connections.

This is how I suggest you spend your first few months on a platform. Find people who have the same interests as you. Send them a DM showing how genuinely interested you are in their work and ask questions. If they have an online product for free or a few dollars, buy it. try it and leave feedback on it on your account by tagging it. They will mostly feel happy and will be ready to help you if you need anything, even after years. This is how I got a post of mine shared by a larger account.

This rule has been instilled into us socially and culturally throughout our lives that we feel so awkward when we owe something. The mental stress eats us slowly until we return a favor.

and if you don’t follow the reciprocation rule, you are shunned. People call you greedy.

What’s even fascinating is this rule works even if you don’t want what the other person offered.

For eg, If someone offers you a Coke that they bought for you, you can’t deny it. They already paid the money and the situation is appropriate for it. but you never wanted the Coke. In fact, you have packed some juice in your bag. But you would still feel obliged to give. if the person later comes to you with a favor, you most probably would do it, unless it’s extreme.

This works even for unequal favors and some people take advantage of it. They offer to help you by doing a small favor. And when they come back with a large request, you would be pressed to return the favor, even if it’s a complete stranger.

This is a powerful principle and can help you in many ways if you know about it but if you combine this with the “contrast principle” it gets even more powerful and compels people to do what you want.

When you help someone and leave them with the burden to return the favor, try this. First, ask them a favor that you know they would deny. and then, ask for a second one that is smaller than the first one. for eg, if you want $100, ask them for $200 first. and when they decline, say “ok. can you at least give me $100?”. It works outstandingly well.

This is how it works: when they decline your first offer, they feel somewhat uncomfortable for not being able to help. but when you give a concession and ask for a smaller favor, they feel obliged to give you a concession by agreeing to it.

And you don’t even need to do a favor first. The act of reducing from a larger to a smaller favor itself starts the reciprocation rule. In the above example, $100 is still a lot of money. but by the law of the “contrast principle”, it’s lower than $200.

That’s it for this week. Next week I will talk more about the side effects of reciprocity rule and How you can avoid it if someone tricks you into using it.