HOW TO INFLUENCE ANYONE

Before we start, I want to welcome 48 new subscribers who have joined this week. This letter is a bit different than what I usually do. I will give you a simple example to illustrate why this is important. I have been working on Machine Learning (ML) problems for the past 6 years and whenever I have to create a novel solution this is what I do. I first write a hand-crafted algorithm and manually analyze the data myself. basic graphs and charts for textual data. If it’s image data, I try to look at a few samples, compare them, and try to get an idea of what the ML/AI model needs to do. And then, I build a model that does it for me, with better accuracy and throughput. This will help me understand

The problem we are trying to solve here is not easy. We are trying to persuade humans to buy our products by influencing them using psychology. To optimally use the prompts and take advantage of AI you need to understand how and why these techniques work. If you have used ChatGPT prompts from the online “mumbo-jumbos”, you should already know that they won’t work 50% of the time. You sincerely follow the prompt and its reply is filled with rubbish. But if you know why it’s happening and how you could change the prompt or ask a follow-up question to get the desired answer from ChatGPT, You have a gold mine. An actual assistant that always helps.

The letter from last week, this week, and the next will be used to build a hand-crafted algorithm, a simple schema in your mind that helps you understand the patterns in people's behavior and how to take advantage of their auto-pilot features. The following letter(s) will contain AI prompts and tools that will automate this process. A ready-to-go system that will help you make the most out of your time and effort and increase your luck.

There are three ways you can go from here:

1. Apply what you learn here immediately, and later use AI to speed up and automate the steps of the process that are tedious to you.

2. Just read these letters and understand how our mind works. How the most intelligent species in the world(maybe the universe) are sometimes just as dumb as a turkey.

3. Close this letter. Wait for two weeks. come back once the AI letters are published.

Alright, Thank you for choosing to read this. I promise you will learn something new about yourself after reading this.

This is part 2 of the influence series. You can read the part 1 here. Let’s continue right where we stopped.

LEVER 2: Reciprocity

We have already seen how powerful this rule is. It can compel people to do us a favor or concession by doing the same for them.

But remember that this doesn’t work for close relationships like family, friends, and partners. In these cases, the reciprocity rule focuses more on our willingness to stand for and help them whenever they are in need.

We have also seen the “reject then retreat” principle which puts reciprocation into action without lending a favor first. but It has some side effects. Contrary to what you might think, they still favor the person who requested it. This principle makes sure that the victim(the recipient of the principle) lives up to the arrangement and would do the same if asked for a similar one in the future. It causes responsibility and satisfaction for agreeing and following the arrangement.

1. Responsibility: Because the victim feels that the negotiation ended on their terms, as they rejected the first request and agreed only to the second. they feel responsible for sticking with it and proceeding with the favor they agreed to.

2. Satisfaction: They feel satisfied by the arrangement as according to them, they are doing a noble deed.

Now it might feel that all the odds are against the victim. So, how do you make sure you don’t become one?

If you reject every favor offered, you might hurt a person who genuinely wants to help. that would cause problems in your relationship.

If you accept the favor and then refuse to return it and go against the reciprocation rule, you will be disliked. people call you names and it might lead to social isolation.

But there’s one way you can do it. and it’s the only way. this is what you need to do in such situations:

1. first, accept their favor. thank them for being so kind. but remember the favor. especially its size.

2. when they come back requesting a favor, compare their favor’s size to what they are requesting. if they are similar, it means that they are genuine and you are not being tricked.

3. if they are not, and their request is very large compared to what they have done, clearly mention that what they are asking is not a favor and instead it’s a trick. and you are not obliged to fall for a trick, by the reciprocation rule.

This will make sure that even if they are indeed tricksters, you don’t lose anything. and you actually are relieved from the reciprocation rule as you return the favor. But, if you figure out that they are tricksters, you don’t need to worry. you won’t have the effect of rejecting the rule because the reciprocation rule applies only to return a favor to a favor. not to return a favor to a trick.

LEVER 3: Liking

Why do brands pay millions to celebrities to be associated with them? We very well know these celebrities don’t use any product from that brand.

Because they know something we don’t. They know how powerful the liking principle is and how they can steal some of the positive feelings we have towards celebrities by being associated with them.

The third and maybe the most powerful judgemental heuristic is liking. We bias our decisions towards people we like. We may not realize it or accept it but that’s the truth.

Our opinions on many important topics change based on what our favorite people say.

•People who are liked by the recruiters have higher chances of getting hired even if they underperform.

•Students who are liked by the teachers, maybe just for bringing cakes every Monday, get better grades.

•We feel confident to buy things when people we like suggest them to us.

The Tupperware house party is the greatest sales example of the liking principle. It helped Tupperware sales reach $4 million a day. The concept is simple. Instead of a sales rep selling you the products, your friend does. Your friend invites you to a fun party. You can’t say no to it. You play games, win prizes, have fun, drink, eat, and at the end, the sales rep sells the products. But he clearly mentions that your friend will get a share. What will you do? I mean, you came to the party, ate her food, and had fun. and now how can’t you help her get some money? If you don’t buy something, your friend will lose some money.

Do you see how smart it is? It was so effective that Tupperware stopped selling in retail stores.

People base their judgments on how they like you. So, It’s important that you are likable. especially by the people you want something from. So, How? There are 4 ways you can do it. these are not mutually exclusive so, the more you try, the merrier.

1. Looks: Yes. Looks matter! There is more than enough evidence that people who look good, dress up well, and are fit get higher pay, have higher votes, and have better chances of getting hired. Good-looking people are seen as smart, intelligent, kind, humble, creative, confident, powerful every positive word you can imagine. Of course, once you get familiar with them, this attraction may wear off if you don’t act the part. Your luck depends on your looks. so, take good care of your face, dress well. even if you are ugly as shit, a ripped physique will make you look better. so, get those gains.

2. Association: Associate yourself with positive things. become associated with their positive feelings and people repeat behaviors that are complemented/praised. so, start any sentence with praise first and then ask for your favor. It’s harder for them to deny. Flattery works. I am a victim of it.

3. Similarity: The more you have in common with them, the more they like you. Talk about your interests, try to bring up common grounds, and keep talking about it. Similarity plays a major role in liking others. People prefer others like them in domains like education, sexual relationships, elections, and negotiation.

4. Familiarity: The more people get to know you, the more likely they remember you, and their judgment influenced by you. So, Show your best behavior and interact with them often.

but familiarity can cause problems. And we see this happen regularly when two groups of people are in contact. If contact takes place in a distasteful environment, it results in competition. So, having a common goal and cooperation is important. When you are completely different from a person you are trying to please, you need to create situations and show them that you share the same goals as them.

Now, with all the cautions being said, Let’s create a simple framework to use the liking lever to get your way with people. Keep in mind everything you learned about the liking principle so far and use this:

Step 1: Start caring for your looks. dress up well, work out, get fit, and take care of your skin.

Step 2: Do some research about your prospects. What are their interests, their goals, their habits, any sports they play, and maybe even their favorite actors? Nowadays everyone has a public social media profile. gather as much information as you can.

Step 3: Get in contact. The environment and the way you approach it are important. pick up a place or stance such that they feel you are cooperating with them and are interested in them. start with asking them questions about themselves.

Be observant and look for what you have in common. even small details can be helpful. talk more about what you have in common. just listen patiently to what they have to say and just acknowledge it. people love great listeners.

Step 4: praise them. if possible, praise them on their back. talk about them to their friends, partners, or assistants. This works very well as they think you are genuine.

Step 5: whenever you need something from them first praise them and then go on to ask your favor. Praising is important because this forces them to help you repeatedly even if they don’t want to.

That’s it. Remember that you are not cheating them. You are just showing your best manners and creating an environment where they are more likely to help you.

But what if you become the target of compliance practitioners? Especially sales people. They are experts at using the liking principle against you.

They observe you and bring up topics that you may like. they bring you a coffee, make jokes and are very helpful. They praise you for your choices and interests. They want to get the best deal for you and are ready to get into a fight with their boss for you. They are way too good and you feel lucky to get the best salesman in town.

And you fall for their charm and might get into a deal that’s not beneficial to you.

And here, you need to focus on the effect not on the cause. You can’t defend all their maneuvers.

They have many years of experience and they are not scarce of moves. so, instead, focus on the effect. let them do all the chitchat and acting. But once you realize that you like them more than you should, that they are very inclined to your interests, and are going out of their way to help you get a good deal, It’s time to consciously separate the deal and the dealer. Understand that you won’t take the sales guy with you, so no matter how much you like him, it’s of no use. Instead, focus on the deal. This will make sure that your judgment is not biased by their behavior.

Lever-4: Social proof

When you want to buy a product online, what is the first thing that you look for? If I am not wrong, ratings would be in the top three. We decide what we need to buy based on how others like it. And this is seen in many other places.

• In a restaurant, You are most likely to order the most popular dish.

• In supermarkets, we don’t buy a product if there are too many of them. It means that people are not buying it hence, you don’t want to.

• You choose the pub, shows, and product launches that have long queues of people waiting to get in.

In all the above cases and many others that we need to choose daily, ready physical proof is not available. so we depend upon social proof.

If you are selling a course or product, testimonials are crucial. They are the social proof that your product is valuable. But what should I focus on when getting the testimonials? What questions should I ask my past customers? To answer these questions, we need to understand why social proof is so powerful and use these reasons to come up with questions that answer these reasons to a potential buyer.

Why does social proof work so well?

1. It reduces uncertainty:

   When you are uncertain about your choice, you look for something that validates the certainty. If you are going first time to a restaurant for lunch, there are very high chance that you ask the waiter for the most popular dish. Because you don’t want to order something that tastes awful and waste your money. so, You want something that validates your choice. Even if you don’t like the dish, you think “Maybe it’s great but I didn’t like it for some reason”.

   Now, How do we reduce/remove uncertainty using testimonials? By having quantifiable metrics in the testimonials. Not just, “I loved the course, product” but how it helped them, adding numbers, and percentages adds even more value”.

   So, the questions you need to ask to reduce uncertainty are:

   1. Where were you before using the course? Where are you now? be as specific as possible.

   2. What big problem did this course help you solve?

   3. What results have you gotten from this course? (depending upon your product, you can make it even more specific)

   The answers to these questions will reduce the uncertainty of buying your product. It also answers the pain point of similar buyers.

2. It increases feasibility

   When you add testimonials with great results and the prospect is convinced that your product is valuable, they have one more question that needs to be answered.

   “Can we get the same results? Maybe the people who have seen success with the product in the past were experienced, lucky or talented ”

   And this question becomes more significant if you only have a few testimonials. Even if they have quantified results, the lesser number reduces the feasibility. So, you need to add more testimonials. I would say around 30-40 is a good number. But If you have more, don’t fill up your landing page with these. Instead, mention only the ratings with the number of people.

   “ 120 people rated it 5/5”

   And clearly mention the prerequisites for the course. If there are too many prerequisites, people may not find it feasible. so dumb down the course and make it easy for them to buy.

3. It increases validity

   1. 1. Have you ever heard about PEERSUASION? Yep. I spelled it right. No? Then you will love this.

         An action is more validated if many “similar” people do it. Similarity can be many things. age, sex, social beliefs, religion, interests, etc.

         Let’s just say that this is the most powerful factor of compliance. So much so that people make life/death choices based on what similar people do.

         How can we use Peersuasion to make more sales?

         There are two ways you market. And the solution is different for each. let’s go over each.

         1. Cold outreach.

            This is the best and most effective way to apply Peersuasion.

            You can easily get the basic information about a person based on their social media profile.

            When you reach out to them via emails, DMs, or talk directly about products, sneak in testimonials from SIMILIAR people into the conversation. When I was working as a freelancer a few years back, I was selling a course where I taught Machine Learning (ML) (when this was not a part of the curriculum in universities). And before every batch, I used to reach out to prospects to ask if they were interested.

            •If the prospect was an undergrad student, I mentioned how my course helped another undergrad get a summer internship as an AI engineer.

            •If the prospect is an employee in Tech, I showed him examples of employees getting a promotion weeks after completing my course.

            Trust me! There is abundant information showing that similarity is the largest factor in displaying social proof.

            But if you are not careful this can go wrong.

            Let’s go back to the above example of my online ML course. Before I started using the similarity principle, I still remember one peculiar call I had. I was talking to another undergrad and at first, he was interested in learning ML and liked my course structure until I mentioned a recent testimonial from an employee. When he heard that he said “Maybe I need to focus on my academics for now. Once I get a job, I can start learning ML. Do you see what happened? The testimonial reduced the chances of the prospect buying. I always wondered if he would have bought it If I didn’t mention any testimonial at all. I think he would have.

      2. Landing page.

         This is how followers from social media and newsletters buy your products. You drive people to your landing page where you talk about the offer, your position, and testimonials from past customers.

         There is no way to change the testimonials for each visitor because you don’t have any information about the visitor to find similar customers from the past. Instead, you need to find out your “Ideal Customer”? A customer who would benefit greatly from your product and is ready to pay the most. A customer who would become your fan.

         Do your research and figure out the age, profession, personality, interests, location, and every other distinct feature of the ideal customer.

         Now, find out your past customers with similar features and highlight these testimonials. Remember that everyone who visits your website may not be your ideal customer and it’s fine. Because you have many quantified testimonials, and you have removed the issues of uncertainty and feasibility, people would still be willing to buy your product. But the few, who connect with the highlighted testimonials, and who are similar to your ideal customers at least in some way will make you more money than all the other customers.

         They won’t negotiate the price, they will repeatedly buy your products and because they want to sound smart, they will happily refer you to their friends. They will be your FANs.

      Now, The above compliance techniques work effectively if you already have many past customers. But if you are starting out and have very few customers, The strategy won’t work.

      The technique for you is different. First, ask yourself a question.

      Do you have enough honest evidence that your product will sell in the future given some time and reasonable marketing?

      If your answer is no, change or leave your product.

      But If it is yes, then create a future social proof. Make the recent increment in your customers the centerpiece. Share the trend in growth. People use trends to predict the future. If for the past 2 weeks, your sales doubled, people expect the trend to continue in the future. This is what stocks are all about.

      saying that a minority is interested in your product is a big mistake because the social proof acts in the opposite direction and people do what the majority of other people do. But saying that the interest in your product is increasing steadily every day, every week, or every month will create future social proof. Your prospects will believe that you will have a lot more sales in the future. and you can take advantage of it by saying that the price will increase after a certain date/sale.

      That’s it for this week guys. Thank you for reading this long ass letter till the end.

      Next week we will cover the last four levers of compliance: Authority, Scarcity, Consistency, and Unity. Keep rocking. Bye!